In 2016, we got Brexit
Immigrants took all the shit
For the austerity and anxiety
Of the population of the uk

But Ruddles best was £1.69, yes
Ruddles best was 1.69
No I didn't say 170 I said 169, so,
Fuckin, WTO

In 2020, we got covid-19
Boris fed our lives to the economic machine
to keep wheels spinning our vulnerable paid
with their lives, jobs and not getting laid

But ruddles best was £1.29, yes
Ruddles best was 1.29
No I didn't say 130, I said 129, so
fuck, the WHO

In 2024, venice sunk to the ocean floor
Because we burnt all the left-over dinosaur
(What did we do that for?)
The world is fucked, the planet is dying
But still all the politicians be lying
(But every cloud has a silver lining)

Cos ruddles best is 89 pence
Yes Ruddles best is 89 pence
Ruddles best is 89 p fuck me
89 is not even 90
So fuck off scientists, what do you know?

My car's not flying and the oceans not rising
I refuse to believe that Venice ever existed in the first place
Have you ever met someone who's actually even been to Venice and wasn't also a liar
Humans lie, they lie all the time
And humans commit 100% of crimes
And scientists are humans too
Ergo they're criminals who do not tell the truth
Fuck the scientists, what do they know?

WTO not WHO
Stupid science bitches, what do they know?
I'd rather be plastered
Than think about disasters
If the state mandates castration
At least nationalise inebriation
And the railways, and the internet, and the NHS, and the government, and the private sector, and the public sector, and the private sector
Nationalise my toothbrush.
I'll be first in line
If I can have a bit of your toothbrush
You can have a bit of mine

For a free Ruddles Best just follow these steps
It’s a very simple recipe with great effects
It requires no racism or pandemics
Just eat the rich, it’s a simple fix
If everyone at home just follows along
With these simple instructions, it won’t be long
We can turn our future round 180 degrees,
And finally the people and the ruddles will be free

In 2028
I foresee
Ruddles best
Will be free
From the land
To the sea
Cos we'll abolish
The bourgeoisie, you'll see

In 2032
I'm telling you
If you want a ruddles
They'll be paying you (yeah)
In 2032
I'm telling you
If you want a ruddles
They'll be paying you

For your company
So take a seat
Have a beer
Put up your feet
You've been working hard
You deserve a break
I know the boss has been making you work late
But don't fear
The revolutions here my friend
Just in time
So kickback and pour yourself a pint
Let the vanguard go
And pay your boss a visit
See if we can convince him to give up
His treasure, and if not we take it
That's how it works,
In 2032, I'm telling you
In two thousand and thirty two, they'll be paying you